Del – Oh yes. He now falls against the van (facing it), exhausted with anger and frustration. Albert – If you’ve got anything for the launderette go and get it now. You can’t whack a good play, can you? Naval Officer – You will be taken to the naval stockade, Portsmouth, where you will await court martial. He puts his foot on the gas in an attempt to beat the lights. Boycie – When they emptied the bag there was more than one black ball. Del – Oh yeah, I had to meet a few of the committee members – try and make an impression, you know. Sorry, Derek, I did my best. Rodney – Yeah. We cut back to Sonia who appears surprised as what Del has just said. Mike places a drink on counter in front of Trigger. Del returns to the table with his breakfast (bacon, egg, tomatoes and fried bread). Rodney, remembering his ‘Bullit’ style chase turns away. Del cough. Mike – He just sits down quietly and soberly and enjoys himself. I just popped in for some Dutch courage. I used to wake up in the morning and look in the mirror and think, ‘Oh, you again!’ But after I met you I used to wake up and think, ‘Great, another day, you’re gonna be somebody!’… ‘This time next year I’ll be famous.’ Thanks for that. We asked you to vote for your favourite ever Only Fools and Horses episodes and thousands of you responded. That night I took a job to give birthday greetings to someone called Albert Trotter. Is it the hundred and seventy-five quid repairs to the van – is it er? Rodney – Oh look, if she’s as talented as you say she is, she don’t need you bribing some television director. We’ve got estate agents, a judge, a commissioner of police, the mayor. Rodney – I wouldn’t talk to him yet, love. I feel terrible, I’ve kept you away from your business. Del – (Jack the lad again) Oh leave it out, Sid. Rodney – Oh of course, the lodge. I’m involved with a lot of charity work. In the episode the Trotters are accused of shoplifting by one of the security guards. He is playing an off-key middle eight to some mysterious song. I got black balled for you! Raquel – Tougher than I ever imagined … I’ve, em, I’ve resigned from the strippergram agency. I never liked it over there. Yes I’d like to get you…. Del – I know there wasn’t, now I wish I hadn’t. Her old man was a right roughouse. Get out! No matter what has happened in our lives I’ve always said that to my kid brother, ‘Rodney, this time next year we’ll be millionaires!’. Del – And if, when they empty the bag, all the balls are white – you’re in. Raquel exits. Mike and Boycie – (Incredulously) You sure? WPC – Mr Trotter. It’ll be a piece of cake. Del – Well, you can’t go wrong here. I didn’t know they went in for all that Uncle Vanya and Run for your Wife, stuff. Rodney – Yeah, but I like to cruise quickly. Del, Rodney, and Albert are mistakenly apprehended as shoplifters by an overzealous security guard at the Top Buy Supermarket. Del – Oh use your noddle, Raquel! She come in shaking like a leaf! He’s all social conscience! Stick a pony in me pocket I'll fetch the suitcase from the van. Del – (Defending Trigger) Well, that’s her problem! Performances: Monday – Saturday at 7:30pm. Come on darling, hurry up. Well I suppose that’s what I am. I put me finger in the woodpecker’s hole and the woodpecker said “God bless my soul, take it out, take it out, wiggle it about remove it”‘. This is a week later. While serving the Royal Pacific fleet. Albert – Well, I mean I wasn’t up on deck. Del – Ah so have I. Em… d’you fancy going out Saturday night? It was me, it’s a fair cop, I done it! Was it the same for you? We see the three-heeled van approaching with Rambo Rodney at the wheel. Who? Rodney – Oh, I’ll have to see if I can get a day off. Last night I was thinking back to all the birds that I’ve known, I’ve always left ’em with nothing but aggro… I’m a bit like that Little Joe. Del, can’t you chuck him in the back of the van and drive him home? So if I become a mason I can get him to give you that break. Del – Au contraire Raquel. Rodney – Oh. © December 2002. Rodney? Raquel – Is it? No Del! Del – (To Albert) I would have thought you would have come up with something a bit more original than this, Albert. Boycie surveys the hall as if Marlene might have heard. Anyway, you said you wanted me to meet your family. Del – Well, everything in the right place, you now. Trigger – How did you know I wanted a scotch? Nerys – It’s sort of – oh, what’s the word? Only Fools And Horses ™ & © The British Broadcasting Corporation (B.B.C). He is unshaven and his hair is greased back. Rodney and Uncle Albert are astonished when Del gets dressed up in his best suit, and announces he's going to church. Raquel – No, it’s an official tour, all above board. Rodney doesn’t know how to handle the situation or what to say, but his loyalty makes him stay. Cut to Rodney still being pursued by the Cortina. Mike – I thought Albert took it well. So who’s the bird? Why did you let me find out like that? She is in fact a rather nervous and neurotic type although she hides this rather well. Del – D’you know that Raquel is my most favourite name? I couldn’t make head nor tail of it. I’m sorry you don’t like what I do for a living. Rodney – Yes, well yes, but it was making a terrible racket. Stephens. We find Del, morose and still hurting from the events of a few nights ago, seated at a table reading a newspaper. The lights turn red. It’s nothing much – just me memories! Del – (Hasn’t got a clue) Em, it’s difficult to describe her. It’s the next best thing… it’s a shame the two of us couldn’t have been more honest with each other. Raquel – No, it’s not a play. Haven’t you read about it? Rodney – You didn’t see an aircraft carrier? 'Cos if you want the best 'uns, but you don't ask questions, Then brother, I'm your man. I had one line in a Doctor Who about ten years ago. Jevon – I’ll do that for you. Del has a grim expression. Del – Sorry about that. From Del’s direction we get the impression that Boycie is giving him a real roasting. Rodney’s laughter dies instantly as he realises the seriousness of the situation. I’ve booked us a table at that little Italian place opposite. This is a complaint from Nerys, but Rodney doesn’t understand. Sid gestures for Del to come over to the counter. Aaaaaaaggggghhhhh! Del is now in handcuffs and is being led from the pub by the police officers. Naval Officer – I’m placing you under arrest. Del – Mais oui, mais oui. I knew nothing. The Trotters are accused of theft and taken to the shop manager's office. Your Uncle Albert is not a crafty person! It’s left up here. Del – Well, this Trevor and the Celia sort. He is hurt, deeply hurt. The yobs (without stopping) scream a load of abuse at Rodney (‘Out of the way, pus-head’ ‘Get that heap of shit off the road’). Del – (Cutting in) No, it’s not that! We’re in the process of questioning the owners of all such vehicles. You told me you were called Derek Duval! The Longest Night first aired on the BBC back in September 1986. Boycie – Well, let’s put it like this. He looks into her eyes. Del – Yeah, I was gutted. They are stern and officious. or. But before you start moralising too much, just remember one thing, you booked me for this evening. Del – Wash your mouth out with soap and water, Rodney. Del – (Cont’d) He makes up more rules than the common market that bloke! 28 Only Fools and Horses Facts That You Haven't Seen Before. As he returns so door opens and Raquel enters. Rodney – (Studying photo) I’m surprised it took you that long! Raquel is putting the crockery in the sink. Only Fools and Horses....: The Longest Night. But they were just playing a game. We see Trigger in his road sweeper’s donkey jacket sweeping a gutter. Del – Yeah… well… that’s what it’s all about, innit? Del – Well, you better get ready or you’ll be late. I have played the game before. Del – (Studying photo) Yeah, she looks like a rough and ready girl. (To the returning WPC) Did you get it? Raquel – If I’m no there, I’m not there. Raquel – Maybe it’s another call from your New York office. I’m taking a lady out to lunch. Raquel – I’m sorry! But then, a young 20-year old man enters the supermarket and tries to steal some food, but Tom Clark, the head security officer, catches him in the act and takes up to the manager's office. Del – What, with that engine, you must be joking. When, or indeed if, you and Miss Turner should meet, we do emphasise the importance of complete honesty. Rodney – (Cont’d) Anyway, what about a few years ago, when you used to go out with that bird Monique. from a recently finished meal. Raquel pulls curtain back and surveys the street looking for Del. There’s a very nice little hotel round the corner, why don’t we go and discuss it there? Del – Don’t get out my pram? Daha fazla videoya gözat. This is from my old days, Rodney. Mike is leaning on the bar and looking grimly in the direction of the piano. Rodney is now mentally King of the Bronx. Del now practices meeting Raquel. Trigger – Yeah, but it was going a fair old lick though, weren’t it? Rodney – Raquel, what a lovely surprise! Here, have my tea. AKA: Readies, Only Fools and Horses, Only Fools and Horses...., Mucke. Mickey – Nerys likes guys who live their lives a hundred miles an hour. One of them Russian jobs most probably. Del – (Shaking his head) Oddly enough… I am not alright. Agent – I don’t think so. Del – You know what I mean. After a couple of turns there in a clanking sound – and oil and steam gush out from beneath the van. Del becomes aware of someone’s presence. Yeah, listen I wanted to ask you something. Del is waiting anxiously. We’ve got all sorts! We hear Del over. (Referring to the van) And I suppose this is the Ferrari? Rodney – It is the fashion. Directed by Mandie Fletcher. Paul Whitehouse (in hat, leaning on van) as Grandad and the cast of Only Fools and Horses on stage. Agent – Yes, I’ll make a note. And things get worse when they're taken to the manager's office and realise that they've lost their receipt for the goods. Did I tell you about that time I was in Cairo? The Cortina comes over the brow of the hill a few seconds later. Del – What can I do Michael, you’ve given him too much to drink, haven’t you? The show, famous for its cockney catchphrases - … The van now races over the top of the hill. May I call you Raquel? So where would we meet and how would we recognise each other assuming of course she fancies the idea – what d’you say her name was again? He’s almost offended some of the ladies. Del – No, no those are the ones I never used to watch. Del – No, of course you won’t be cheating! I’ll just feed your information into our main computer. Albert – Yeah. He’s doing matinees now! Del – No, the committee are discussing me this evening. A guide to The Longest Night, Episode 3 from Series 5 of Only Fools And Horses. They chuck a lovely dinner ‘n’ dance an’ all you know. Rodney – (Cont’d) You coming down the Coach and Horse tonight, they’ve got a strip… comedian on. Del – No, no. Del – No, really. The final episode went out on 25th December 2003. All Rights Reserved. Here, the Trotters are held up at gun point in their local supermarket. Performance & security by Cloudflare. Bildir. It is not something you turn down lightly, Derek. Boycie – Well, rather him than me.