[Read: 10 signs he’s not playing hard to get he’s just playing you] How to tell if a guy is playing you so you can stop wasting your time. It’s confusing and you never really know where you stand. I know I do. Perhaps the most nefarious of mind games is called “gaslighting.” Someone who uses this manipulative tactic might say something, then deny they ever said it, or tell someone their gut feelings are all in their head. This kind of jealousy-inducing behavior will, obviously, leave you feeling jealous! You’ll wonder what they’re keeping from you and why they’re being so weird about things. Though often fun, love is not a game. If she’s taking hours to text you back or ignores your texts completely, this is a sign she’s playing you. There are various reasons individuals play mind games, however the objective is as a rule to increase a feeling of control or control over someone else. Either way, you’ll be left feeling angry and upset, unsure of what’s really going on and why you deserve this. - He'll turn his eyes, then his head, then his body toward you. In the end, if a man is playing games with your heart, he’s the loser. A common mind game is to make you believe you don’t measure up. He will … Men born under this zodiac sign are charming, enthusiastic, and outgoing. If they continue the behavior, it shows a lack of respect toward you; and it might be for the best if you cut them loose. We’ve all had at least one experience with a person like this, and their behavior can leave us feeling confused and manipulated. It starts at the very first moment his eyes catch you. Maybe your partner is flirting with other people or messaging their ex. The player wants to get a specific response, but instead of telling you what they need or asking for what they want, they try to get their needs met by using manipulative tactics. If your ex is playing games with you, they might still love you and want you back, but they are acting out of selfishness, immaturity or bad advice. Now on your end, you just feel totally confused. If they can’t or won’t accept responsibility for their actions, or continue to act this way after you’ve told them it upsets you, the next step is up to you. Still not sure what to do about the mind games your partner plays on you? Why Playing Games Are Bad. Explain you prefer more communication and a direct approach from the people you date. Some people do it to punish you. 10 Signs Someone is Playing Mind Games With You. Doing so will only make her see you as vulnerable and easier to manipulate. The fact is that mind games ... Are you worried that the person you’re dating is playing mind games with you? * Does he show an active interest in what your thoughts and feelings are? Finally mind games can quite simply be a means to an end. She might be trying to show you that she doesn’t like you going out, and wants to make you ‘pay for it’ by being demeaned every time you do it. This is such childish behavior, and yet so many people do it! This isn’t a good sign, because either they are intentionally playing games in an attempt to keep you … Their insecurity and need to make you feel less than you are is the real problem. With men who like to play, you play them right back! If you think someone might be playing mind games, here are 12 signs to look out for…. You can also check her out on the Happy Empaths Twitter feed @the_empath. 1. Do you feel like you’re just blocked from their life every so often? how you are feeling, see what they say. This can very quickly become a toxic cycle of abuse and can spiral out of control before you realize what’s going on. I knew this kid in high school.. Let’s call him Todd. 2. All Rights Reserved | Contact Us | Privacy Policy, 12 Signs Someone Is Playing Mind Games With You. Mind games are unfair to play on anyone, so listen to your gut and try to move past this toxic phase. They might even apologize after doing it, only to start again a few days later. Honestly, he just doesn’t seem emotionally attached to you. Todd was on the football team and as you’d expect, he … Simply, 4 Types Of Emotional Blackmail Manipulators Use Against You, 10 Signs Of Toxic Parents (+ 6 Steps To Dealing With Them), 8 Types Of Controlling People You May Encounter In Life, How To Respond To Guilt Trips And Stop Someone Guilt Tripping You, 7 Reasons Why Your Partner Withholds Affection + What To Do About It. A head game gambler may think, "She's paying me back for watching football all afternoon by not making dinner," but, in reality, his partner just feels a cold coming on and needs to rest. There might not be a definite behavior or explanation, but there’ll be something that makes you question if this person is just toying with you. One of their most important personality traits is that they’re very clever. Don’t feel disappointed in this relationship. They might be trying to manipulate you into behaving in a certain way by acting out when you do something they don’t like. They want you to question reality so you feel off balance. Chat online to a relationship expert from Relationship Hero who can help you figure things out. This can make you feel very rejected and unattractive. It’s all about feeling powerful and in control, but those feelings never last for very long. Shopping. My most recent experience with mind games happened with a man who tried to use guilt to get me to go out with him after I decided I didn’t want to see him anymore. Another guy would tell me he was going to pick me up at a certain time, then show up an hour or more late. The best way to find out if someone is playing this game is to ask them if they are. You’ll end up feeling upset and hurt that they don’t want to talk to you. With this kind of mind game, you’re left exactly where they want you – vulnerable and desperate. And if she behaves like this, she isn’t worth your time. You might hear things like “My last girlfriend never had a problem with me being late” or “No one else seems to care about this. Manipulators have poor personal boundaries and don’t have your best interests at heart. He always keeps you on the defensive trying to get the upper hand. Maybe you’re a little paranoid.” This behavior is the adult version of peer pressure and is designed to get you to do something you don’t want to do, or feel a certain way about yourself. How To Tell If A Girl Is Playing Mind Games With You. In this article, you will learn five different types of head games that your ex could be playing with you. The player needs to get a particular reaction, however as opposed to mentioning to you what they need or requesting what they need, they attempt to get their necessities met by utilizing manipulative strategies. Simply click here to chat. Some people do it because they like the thrill of toying with someone’s emotions. Some people do it to feel superior – they like making you doubt yourself and want to make you feel insecure. Sometimes he changes your plans last minute and runs away without saying a word. Can Casual Sex Be a Spiritual Experience? Sometimes, he doesn't even answer your calls or he ignores your texts. Let's check out more ways on how to tell if someone is playing mind games with you: Do Not Have a Pause for you to Ask or Clarify A form of wanting to finish a conversation and not enjoy an existing conversation is a form of search for benefits in terms of information about you in a conversation. It might make you question if they really like you, if your partner is cheating, or even if your friends are secretly meeting without you to bitch about you. Move on to someone who is interested in you. Made with love in The Rocky Mountains, USA Now something to keep in mind is that you do not want to come across as a love puppy that cannot do without her. “Should I have to check in every time I leave home?” with Allana Pratt, 3 Toxic Thought Patterns You Need to Break to Find Love, The Gay Man’s Guide: Creating a Dating Profile. And someone who plays games with you is not treating you with love. Either way, it’s unfair and will leave you feeling pretty rubbish about yourself. They’ve developed negative coping mechanisms and probably won’t ever change. Terms of Use | Privacy Policy, How to Spot (& Sidestep) Someone Who’s Using Mind Games, 5 Reasons Playing Mind Games Only Hurts You, 6 Telltale Signs of an Abusive Relationship. When People Play Mind Games, It's All An Attempt To Manipulate The Situation. If you’re feeling confused and dejected, they’re probably trying to mess with your head. Maybe you’ve just started dating and you don’t know where you stand with them, or a friend has suddenly started acting weirdly toward you. The reason why is because guys who play mind games don’t really care about you. But with all the head game-playing on both sides (and by even supposedly grown ups who should know better), it’s sometimes hard to tell who is just following some stupid rules, who is playing you and who is taking things slowly because they want to be sure they are making the right decisions. If you're constantly trying to one up your partner or match your behavior to theirs, you're being dishonest and you're playing games. It may seem counterintuitive to open up emotionally to someone you think might be playing games with you, but it could be the perfect solution. They might make rude comments about your appearance, humiliate you in front of your friends, or subtly bring up conversations they know will make you uncomfortable, just to prove a point. Of course, if your gut is telling you that something is a bit ‘off,’ it probably is. You are a mirror for them, and the way they speak to you is the way their inner self-talk speaks to them. Lucy is a travel and wellness writer currently based in Gili Air, a tiny Indonesian island. Is someone playing a power game with you and you don’t even realize it? Maybe he just doesn’t like you enough or maybe he just has issues with relationships in general and can’t commit. This is a horrible situation to be in and you may feel as though you have to endlessly defend yourself and explain what’s really going on. You're signed out. Copy link. In short, someone is playing mind games when they do not apply Jesus’s words in Luke 6:31, “And as you wish that others would do to you, do so to them.” When someone insinuates that you should wait for them but then they do not wait for you, they are not following the words of Jesus and they are playing mind games with you. Especially if she is really playing games with you. Ask her how she feels about you. If playback doesn't begin shortly, try restarting your device. Here are some ways to tell whether a guy is serious about having a mutually-satisfying relationship with you. Here are 5 commons signs the Lord will show you when he is trying to warn you that someone is just playing games and has no intentions of entering into a serious relationship with you. I’m an online dater, and like most people, sometimes I stumble across someone who tries to play mind games with me. Explain you prefer more communication and a direct approach from the people you date. Some people love playing games – but how do you know if they’re doing it with you? Tap to unmute. Try to speak to them about this and explain how it makes you feel. People who play mind games often get a weird thrill from isolating you from your loved ones, either subtly or explicitly. It gets you nowhere to fake out your partner. If the person you are dating does this to you, it’s not about you. What might help is to determine immediately if you are being played and then figure out what to do about it. They may not be aware they’re doing it, or they may not realize just how much it’s affecting you. Tell him that you think he is doing an “end run” and playing some subtle mind games. Caution, girl, he is playing a mind game with you. A more subtle mind game is continuously making comparisons between you and other people. When you notice the signs of a guy playing you, you can jump ship before stuff gets too serious. Here are some things to look for to help you figure it out. It’s confusing when someone is clearly interested, but will never be the first to come to you – and that’s exactly why they do it. Maybe your friend has started posting pictures of herself with another friend on Instagram in the hopes you see it. One of the most common mind games, especially during dating and relationships, is when they force you to go to them every time. I knew I was being emotionally manipulative, but I wasn’t deliberately trying to play mind games. Maybe they’re trying to convince those around you that you’re not a nice person or that you’ve been bitching about them and are lying now when you say that you haven’t been. Get expert help dealing with a partner who plays mind games. On the other hand, if you are seeing someone who is interested in you, his emotions are in the game. Do not trust someone who plays games with your head or heart. This is a classic power play, and will leave you feeling insecure and shy, as well as confused and upset. He behaved as if I were being irrational for asking that he treat me with common courtesy. Second-guessing yourself and the decisions you make is horrible – it makes you feel insecure and alone. This feels a lot like playing mind games, but it may not have such fiendish motivations. The person whom you are talking to is so good at playing mind games that he has convinced you to do what he wants. The best thing to do when you realize someone is playing mind games with you is to bless them with love, stop communicating, and move on with your life. 6. It can be really hard to be involved with someone who plays mind games, whether they’re a family member, partner, or close friend. Equally, they could be jealous of you – they want you to feel bad about certain things so that you become more shy and less likely to go out with guys they fancy, for example, or they want to turn your friends against you because you’re more popular than they are. Have you noticed them talking badly about you to your other friends? Maybe they make a point of saying nasty things about you in front of others, or make things up to make you seem like the bad guy. Any time we try to use someone else to make ourselves feel better, it usually doesn’t end well. You don’t want him to be comfortable with making little comments designed to set you off. You suddenly find yourself feeling and acting in ways that aren't typical of you, and when you take a moment to think, you realize that you are being manipulated. I recently had this done to me and I thought I was losing my mind. It can be upsetting and may make you question how genuine your friendship or relationship is with them – why don’t they want to let you in? There are so many different reasons for playing mind games, and they vary from person to person, and from situation to situation. Info. Put a face on what he is doing and call him out for it. Some men really love playing mind games on women. It could be that they just like messing with your head – they could be narcissistic or self-involved, and do it for the kicks. They might start telling other people that you’re a liar, or even falsely accuse you of making things up. He is an addict that has been sober for over 20 years. Sometimes, this is their way of ‘testing’ you to see how much you care and how far you’ll go to get their attention – it makes them feel important and attractive having you chase around after them. Still not sure what to do about the mind games your partner plays on you? 3 For more information, please visit her website at BarbaraBuck.org. His physical body first starts to calibrate with you as his "true north" - just like a compass. It’s almost impossible to create an authentic connection with someone when honest communication is missing from the picture. Final Thoughts on Ending Things With Somone Who’s Playing Games. There are a number of reasons people play mind games, but the goal is usually to gain a sense of control or power over another person. When I got upset about having to wait for him, yet again, he acted as if there was something wrong with me for being angry. They do this to control the relationship, or as a test to see what your reaction is. He will care about what is going on with you and will become upset when you are upset. Maybe they’re threatened by you and want to stop you (and others) from realizing how amazing you are. For example, your girlfriend might start putting you down every time you come home from a night out with friends. Watch later. There are some people, though, who deliberately stop communication just to get your attention. If you feel like you’re constantly having to explain yourself or backtrack, you’re probably experiencing this extremely damaging form of psychological abuse. © 2021 MINDFUL, LLC All rights reserved. Get expert help dealing with a partner who plays mind games. #4 She flirts with other people in front of you. This kind of thing can make anyone feel insecure and paranoid – you’ll feel alone and you won’t know what’s going on, which is a horrible place to be. If his behavior is continually uneven, you should check this next Mind Game sign in the list… THIS HAS TO BE A MIND GAME – SIGN 2: He’s Your Personal Roller Coaster… Sometimes he calls, sometimes he doesn’t. In Astrology, These Zodiac Signs Truly Enjoy Playing Mind Games In An … She also is the facilitator for the Happy Empath community at TheHappyEmpath.com, a website that supports and empowers people who consider themselves highly sensitive. With men who are sincere, you give a little more sincerity. So, I resorted to a power struggle. This page contains affiliate links. If he or she is your boss or ranks higher in the organization, this is appropriate. This is the first stage of attraction as he "aligns" himself toward you. Look after yourself, know your worth, and know when to walk away. He was trying to make me feel sorry enough for him that I would acquiesce and agree to another date. If someone is regularly shutting you out, they’re doing it to confuse you and keep you guessing about what’s going on. Sometimes he’s eager and excited, other times not so much. You don’t need to be a pawn to anyone that doesn’t deserve you as a … If you decide to move on, speak to other loved ones and ensure that you’ll have a support system around you – living with someone who plays mind games is hard, but leaving them is often even harder as they’ll try to trick you into coming back and may get even worse. If she is playing games with you, she may recognize that this isn't a joke to you. Here are some ways to tell: * Someone initiates a meeting with you but insists that you come to his or her office for no real reason. https://www.aconsciousrethink.com/13929/signs-playing-mind-games If you're wondering what a mind game is, they come in many forms but always involve one thing—sending mixed signals to toy with someone's emotions. Someone Who Is Just Playing Games Will Say Intimate Things from a Distance Sometimes they get busy, sometimes they lose interest. It’ll also make you feel pretty insecure and confused about what’s going on and why you don’t seem to be enough for them – and you’ll wonder why they would want to hurt you like this. If you want something from someone and directly asking hasn’t proved fruitful, and force is not an option, then sometimes manipulating that person can be seen as the only way to get the desired response. Maybe your partner tells you that your friends are way more fun than you on a night out, or they compare you to their ‘crazy’ ex whenever you have an argument. Tons of books out there tout “playing hard to get” as a good way to keep a person interested, but it’s pretty dishonest. Do you question if you’re over analyzing things? If you are sincere and she knows how you feel, she'll be more likely to answer honestly. Don’t allow him to get away with yanking your chain. They never text first or call you, they never suggest plans – instead, you’re the one texting and double-texting them; you’re the one almost begging to see them. Here are a few ways to read your crush’s mind. Chat online to a relationship expert from Relationship Hero who can help you figure things out. Guys play girls because they’re selfish. Now, you’re probably wondering how to tell if a Gemini man is playing you, and that’s precisely why we prepared this list of clear signs that he’s only playing mind games with you. Getting involved with someone who treats you in this manner will only lead to a toxic relationship. Whether it’s a friend, a partner, a family member, or a coworker, it can be tricky to tell what’s really going on sometimes. It can sometimes be difficult to tell the difference between someone who might be a little insecure or socially awkward from a person who is actively trying to manipulate you.